Personal Essay Outline for The Korean Army: The Necessity of the Conscription System

Personal Essay Outline for The Korean Army: The Necessity of the Conscription System

1. Introduction

l  Hook : Due to the potential aggression between the two countries, it is mandatory for every Korean male to serve in the military for two years. I believe the South Korean government does not sufficiently reward those who serve their two years in the army.

l  Background Info. : Currently, Korea is the only divided nation in the world. / The Korean War Armistice Agreement, which was signed on 1953, ended with a ceasefire and it is still technically in force. / Only a few countries like Korea, Iran, Russia enforce the conscription system. / The United Nations and the Republic of Korea (South Korea) Forces suffered approximately 500,000 casualties and the Communist Forces lost about 1,500,000 ~ 2,000,000 lives. / Every year, about 80 people, 0.01%, commit suicide in the Korean Army because of army violence.

l  Thesis : It would be better if South Korea, and also other countries that enforce a conscription system, change to a volunteer military system.

2. Body

l  Like the Cheonan warship case, due to the potential of a war with North Korea, South Korea needs an army, but it does not need to enforce the conscription system.

l  Only a few countries like Korea, Iran, Russia enforce the conscription system. And also, the United States which is one of the strongest countries in the world, instituted a volunteer military system.

l  The violation of human rights in the Korean Army is a very serious problem today. Every year, about 80 people, 0.01%, commit suicide in the Korean Army because of army violence. One example of this problem is demonstrated through the case of Private Yun who died from an assault.

l  The person who has motive always receives a better result than a person who does not have it. Historically, when United States-led coalition invaded Iraq in 2003, millions of Iraqis were drafted to fight with them. However, Iraq lost in the war by several hundred thousand of the United States Army soldiers.

l  Modern war is not fought as much by soldiers as it is fought by skilled engineers with advanced hardware.

3. Conclusion

l  Because of this reason, South Korea does not need people, as soldiers, who study in a foreign country. It would be better if South Korea, and also other countries that enforce a conscription system, change to a volunteer military system.

4. Method of Proof

l  Verifiable Fact : Currently, Korea is the only divided nation in the world. / The Korean War Armistice Agreement, which was signed on 1953, ended with a ceasefire and it is still technically in force. / Only a few countries like Korea, Iran, Russia enforce the conscription system. / The United Nations and the Republic of Korea (South Korea) Forces suffered approximately 500,000 casualties and the Communist Forces lost about 1,500,000 ~ 2,000,000 lives. / Every year, about 80 people, 0.01%, commit suicide in the Korean Army because of army violence.

l  Historical Reference : Historically, when United States-led coalition invaded Iraq in 2003, millions of Iraqis were drafted to fight with them. However, Iraq lost in the war by several hundred thousand of the United States Army soldiers.

l  Opinion and Personal Belief : South Korea needs an army, but it does not need to enforce the conscription system.

5. Method of Development

l  Cause and Effect : Millions of Koreans disagreed with the Communist regime of North Korea and escaped to the South which lead to 10 million people being separated from their families.

l  Definition : Army violence is the physical and mental violence in the military forces.

6. Rhetorical Devices

l  Anecdote : I am 18 years old, have Korean Citizenship, and am studying in Canada. Because I am not a Canadian Citizen or Permanent Resident, I have to return to Korea to serve in the Korean Army before the age of 25 even though I am studying in Canada. That is the reason why I cannot extend my passport once I am 25 years old.

l  Hyperbole : In the army, servicemen must unconditionally obey their senior officers and violence occurs if anyone goes against them.

l  Rhetorical Question : To compare a man who willingly joins the army training his skills for five years, and another man who joins it by force training his skills for two years, who would get a better result one on one? If there is a battle between the people who have a will to fight and others who fight by force, who will be strong? / If you were a parent and your son died at war as nothing but an expendable asset, would you still insist on the conscription system?